Dear Crabby,
Where’ve you been? You don’t seem as active as you were last year.
Worried!
Dear Worried,
I assume you are inquiring about the website and not me personally, so I’ll reply. The
staffhumans who take care of things have been making some changes. I am not interested in what they are doing, so mostly I don’t listen, but I think they will be changing some of the features on the website soon. I suppose they think this is significant, though I suspect people would rather just see cartoons with me on them. It’s funny how busy human people like to be, isn’t it?
Dear Crabby,
Do you have a favorite cartoon?
Just Curious
Dear Curious,
Fun question, and yes: Puss in Boots. Short, orange, and handsome. Enough said!
Dear Crabby,
I love the comic, but don’t currently have any companion animals. I can’t decide, should I get a cat or a dog?
Undecided
Dear Undecided,
Yes.
It’s a personal decision, of course, so think about your availability and plan accordingly, as it’s important to choose (dog or cat ) appropriate for your lifestyle. Like
lesser beingshumans, Canine and Feline personality types vary.
Dear Crabby,
Who comes up with all the ideas for comics? What about the blogs? Are you the mastermind or is there a cooperative team effort?
Sincerely,
A Fan
Dear Fan,
Thank you for your note. The successful, funny, and good ideas are all mine. The near misses belong to the
staffhumans.
Dear Crabby,
How do you stay so youthful? I would love to shadow you for a day or two to learn more about your routine.
A Queenly Fan
Dear Queenly fan,
I add a healthy dose of sass to everything and it makes my coat shine and eyes twinkle. I do not work or strain myself.
To answer your second question: No. I sleep at least fourteen hours a day to stay fresh, and watchers are creepy detractors. Restful slumbering requires solitude.
The Dear Crabby,
Do you have any plans to attend events this year? Where will you be?! We want to meet you!
Fanboy
Dear Fanboy,
I will look into this… but nothing is certain yet. My
staffhumans are horribly introverted and may have to be coaxed out from under a table, but I will encourage them.
Dear Crabby,
Is your comic updated on any webcomic forums?
Concerned
Dear Concerned,
Sigh. The
idiotssomewhat technologically challenged humans behind CLAWtheory are not HTML masters, as you may have guessed. Any inconvenience is no doubt their doing. Try not to hold it against the cartoons. At least in theory, CLAWtheory can be located on The Webcomic List (TWCL) and the Belfry WebComic Index. Enjoy!
Dear Crabby,
Why so crabby?
Sincerely,
An Admirer
Dear Admirer,
I appreciate and will accept your admiration, but not your criticism. I am a cat.
Dear Crabby,
Do you have any heroes?
Aslan.
Dear Crabby,
How do you feel about recreational nip?
Sincerely,
A Fan
Dear Fan,
Guess.
Dear Crabby,
How often do you accept letters? Write blogs? Draw comics? We want more, more, more! Faster!
Truly yours,
Fishy Fan
Dear Fishy Fan,
As you must know, many of my needs are met by
lesser beingsothershumans. They move slowly. Please try to be patient as they stumble through the steep learning curve associated with the technological gadgetry of the 21st century. Moreover, this page only recently became active, probably by human error.While adoration is welcome, please maintain your composure in the time being as we wait.
Dear Crabby,
One of our house cats has been showing some strange behaviours. Besides excessive grooming, there are now some patches of fur that won’t grow back and visible skin agitation. What should I do?
Jim, A Concerned Cat Lover
Dear Jim, the so-called Concerned Cat Lover-
How the hell should I know? Damn it, Jim, I’m a cartoon, not a doctor.
Dermatitis, possible infections, behavior issues. My concerns are endless. Obviously, your solution should be to contact your veterinarian. You do have one, yes? Explore online resources, read something to learn about caring for your companion, but most of all, get thee to a DVM!
Cats are soft, cuddly, wonderful companions. On the surface. But cats are also complicated. They have needs and can become anxious and preoccupied by things that
lesser beingsothers may fail to grasp. Even minor changes can be disturbing. As with most sentient beings, stress can become a serious problem, cats included, and that can lead to all sorts of symptoms. Act swiftly!
Dear Crabby,
If I bring my cat to sleep beside me on the sofa, he usually leaves. Is he avoiding me?
Sincerely,
Cat Lover
Dear “Cat Lover,”
Your cat friend can sleep wherever he wants. Don’t be so clingy.
Dear Crabby,
My cat doesn’t exercise and is overweight. As a svelte cat, I thought you may have some suggestions.
Thank you,
An Adoring Fan
Dear Adoring Fan,
The household has some experience in this regard. Play, play, play! I wonder how many calories it will burn to watch Myrtle’s Workout Video . . . Become the dot!